A new reason not to use the Megan's Law website as a dating resource.

A man in Oregon was sentenced to two years of probation for attacking his ex-girlfriend and (gasp!) impaling her pet fish.

The ex-girlfriend came home to find the recently scorned Oregonian Rico Suave lying in her bed, hoping to reunite. Making the smartest move since dumping this assbag, she attempts to flee, only to be pulled by the hair and tossed against the bathtub. After successfully escaping, she comes home with a police escort to find her fish stabbed to death.

Rico Suave's explanation? "If she can't have me, then she can't have the fish." While a judge has ordered the Mr. Suave to stay away from his ex-girlfriend, he is not required to avoid fish.

I feel bad for the fishy, and domestic violence is no laughing matter, but really...what else would you expect from a man that wears rapist glasses?


This is not okay.

Pimp Sold Separately

There's a new hussy in town and she's made of plastic. While her attire might suggest she's looking to dance around the Maypole, don't let her goody two shoes facade fool you.

She may not be as hot as Barbie but she goes "up and down" and can "go round and round" a pole like nobody's business--can't say that about the disproportionate skank that preceded her. For obvious reasons, additional outfits are not available. Pimp sold separately.


WARNING: This toy is not approved by Chris Hansen or the wonderful folks at NBC. Please keep in mind that your parole officer would probably frown upon use of this doll and may take action as he/she sees fit.


This is not okay...

I got my Snuggie, now beam me up to Hale-Bopp!!

Those hideously cheap blankets with "sleeves" that make humans look like a member of the Polyphonic Spree are now available for your pet. Good luck getting one of those on your cat.

Hasn't this been invented before? Ever hear of a dog sweater? I'm not even sure why an animal--or human, for that matter--would need such a thing.

At least now the Heaven's Gate people can save some money and make their own custom doggy outfits using a Snuggie, leaving more money for new Nikes.

This is not okay...

With fourteen little bread winners running around in pissy diapers, who needs a government handout anyway?

It looks like tax-PAYERS aren't the only ones being affected by California's budget cuts. Now that government handouts are being issued in the form of IOU's, Octomom, Nadya Suleman, has been forced to find a job--for her kids, that is. Some socially irresponsible production company in Europe has decided to exploit the unnatural situation that is the Suleman Litter by shoving cameras in their faces, hoping we still care enough to watch. What good could possibly come of this?

At $250 a day, on a three year contract, each child would make around $18,000. This means they will have enough money to file for legal emancipation at the earliest age possible. Then they can move out of that zoo they live in. Having more siblings than most have cousins provides a conveniently large selection of possible roommates, making rent affordable and premium cable a plausible option. If things at home aren't so bad by that time maybe the kiddies could put that money towards a college education. Assuming they don't end up having to use it to pay for their diapers. Let's hope the litter leader doesn't take the money and use it to fiend fertility and mangle her uterus...again.

Maybe now that we won't have to support the human incubator, and the stuff that grew inside of it, the State of California can stop paying employees with IOU's and start paying them with money. Maybe we can stop firing teachers and eliminating sports programs. Maybe we can fix the damn freeways. Maybe we can use it to fund some sort of reproductive licensing program, a commonly suggested solution to the continued dilution of the gene pool. Prospective parents should have to pass a test before being allowed to reproduce. Each person is allowed to take the test only one time and, as my friend Kimmie suggested, those who fail get fixed.

After this reality show ends/fails, I wonder if Octomom will go find a real job...

This is not okay...

Thanks for checking out my new (and first) blog!

I've decided I need a place to rant about the behavior of those from the shallow end of the gene pool and the odd behavior of the rest of us. The plan is to comment on articles, pictures I've found or taken myself, interesting/odd topics and anything else I happen to think of. I'm open to suggestions and reader contributions, so if you find, observe, or hear anything that gives humanity a bad name, please send it to thisisnotokay@gmail.com

Thanks for taking the time to check out my blog. This brainchild was just born yesterday, so please bear with me while I get things started.

Hope you will be at least slightly entertained by what I have to say!