With fourteen little bread winners running around in pissy diapers, who needs a government handout anyway?

It looks like tax-PAYERS aren't the only ones being affected by California's budget cuts. Now that government handouts are being issued in the form of IOU's, Octomom, Nadya Suleman, has been forced to find a job--for her kids, that is. Some socially irresponsible production company in Europe has decided to exploit the unnatural situation that is the Suleman Litter by shoving cameras in their faces, hoping we still care enough to watch. What good could possibly come of this?

At $250 a day, on a three year contract, each child would make around $18,000. This means they will have enough money to file for legal emancipation at the earliest age possible. Then they can move out of that zoo they live in. Having more siblings than most have cousins provides a conveniently large selection of possible roommates, making rent affordable and premium cable a plausible option. If things at home aren't so bad by that time maybe the kiddies could put that money towards a college education. Assuming they don't end up having to use it to pay for their diapers. Let's hope the litter leader doesn't take the money and use it to fiend fertility and mangle her uterus...again.

Maybe now that we won't have to support the human incubator, and the stuff that grew inside of it, the State of California can stop paying employees with IOU's and start paying them with money. Maybe we can stop firing teachers and eliminating sports programs. Maybe we can fix the damn freeways. Maybe we can use it to fund some sort of reproductive licensing program, a commonly suggested solution to the continued dilution of the gene pool. Prospective parents should have to pass a test before being allowed to reproduce. Each person is allowed to take the test only one time and, as my friend Kimmie suggested, those who fail get fixed.

After this reality show ends/fails, I wonder if Octomom will go find a real job...

This is not okay...