A new reason not to use the Megan's Law website as a dating resource.

A man in Oregon was sentenced to two years of probation for attacking his ex-girlfriend and (gasp!) impaling her pet fish.

The ex-girlfriend came home to find the recently scorned Oregonian Rico Suave lying in her bed, hoping to reunite. Making the smartest move since dumping this assbag, she attempts to flee, only to be pulled by the hair and tossed against the bathtub. After successfully escaping, she comes home with a police escort to find her fish stabbed to death.

Rico Suave's explanation? "If she can't have me, then she can't have the fish." While a judge has ordered the Mr. Suave to stay away from his ex-girlfriend, he is not required to avoid fish.

I feel bad for the fishy, and domestic violence is no laughing matter, but really...what else would you expect from a man that wears rapist glasses?


This is not okay.